02082017 The Greatest Good
Mother Teresa said, “The greatest good is what we do for one another.”
It’s been one year since I sat on her sofa and listened. It’s been a long and hard and sometimes difficult journey. Many times I’ve cried out to God, asking him, “What are you doing?” Sometimes, I cry out to my husband, my friend,
“How did I get here?”
Over a year ago, I had been struggling with an internal battle of my desire to please people. I wanted to quit ministry and go back to working at a convenience store where no one could judge me for anything other than the way I cleaned, rang up a sale, or greeted a customer. Simple things, easy things. I wrestled with God for weeks. I prayed. I sat quietly. I felt I had no answers, and so I did the next thing I knew to do; I asked for a meeting with the elders. For me, this was not an “ordained” Elder; it was a couple who I knew to be Spiritually fruitful and righteous. I sat at their table and poured out my heart and waited for their expert advice. What I came away with was that my job isn’t to make people happy. My job is to listen to God, obey and follow the nudges.
That’s how I got here.
I followed the nudges and trusted God to stop me from doing my own thing and lead me to do His thing. I’m still often asking,
“How did I get here?”;
but now I know I’m not alone where I am. I have met some amazing people along the way. I have been growing relationships with women that I would never had met had I not followed these nudges. Believe me when I say that this is not what I had planned for this time in my life. If God would have just given me what I wanted back in the 90’s, I’d be retiring soon, and living a great life on the coast of somewhere beautiful.
Love is tough. Not tough like a bad steak, but tough – like a Marine. You know the one thing about a Marine is that they are always faithful until the end.
It’s their motto, “Semper Fi”. I cringe writing that as a former Navy wife, but do you know what? Love really is always faithful. Through tough times and troubled times, sick times, and struggles. Love keeps on digging to unearth issues and repairing them. Love lifts others up and holds them to the light so they can feel the sun. Love sits by bedsides when it hurts so much, and love lets go when it’s time. Even at the very end of this life, love stays faithful – after those we love are gone from our life – love goes on. I’m so glad this selection was read at our wedding because I’ve had to reflect on it so many times since that day.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
That is tough.
I got here, doing this Teal Project, because I walked in when I felt the nudge. I kept sitting and listening and learning and leaning in; and then when the time came, I let go. I continued to trust that God had a plan and tried to listen as much as I could, and I kept following the nudges. Just so to be clear, a nudge is something that happens by anything except accident. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes, it happens to you. Sometimes, it’s over before you even realize you were following a nudge.
I went and asked a friend to paint teal streaks in hair, a friend to paint teal fingernails, many friends to put ribbons in windows, I kept knocking on doors and telling God to shut them when possible. When things looked especially difficult, I reminded myself that this Teal Project isn’t my thing. It’s God’s thing. I’m just the legs, arms, and mouth. He kept nudging, I kept going; and here I am.
The Teal Project began as a way to spark conversation, a way to be honest about statistics and bodies and diseases. It began as an effort to continue my friend’s message – we must Pay Attention To The Signs. We must listen to our bodies. Symptoms that we so easily brush off are often the body’s first way of talking to us, telling us that something is amiss. Cramps? We take an analgesic. Headache? Another analgesic. Heartburn? Antacid. Skin issues? Lotion. We are quick to mask symptoms – the body’s warning system – and keep going. What if we learned what was causing the symptoms and trained ourselves to take better care of these bodies?
What about the other person? What if we stopped rushing onto the next thing, and waited to hear someone’s answer to our question? What if we stopped allowing people to answer with “fine”, “good”, “dandy”…? In the past year, I’ve listened a lot, and I’ve done a bit of thinking. My pastor told me a while back (before any of this part of the journey began) that our deepest fear or sin is where our strongest ministry lies and when we break free of that fear or sin, we are no longer weighed down. We become free to serve in the highest capacity possible. I have never been afraid to die. I know that I’m going to heaven, I know that there is nothing on this earth more valuable than an eternity with God could ever be. So, what was it of which I was afraid? I was afraid to live.
A year ago, I was sitting on my friend’s sofa, living a perfectly oblivious life. A few months later, I woke up and decided to live. Not just to exist and follow the status quo, but to live. This is what started the Teal Project. Yes, raising money to further education and spread the message of self-awareness and advocacy is extremely important. Yes, supporting my friend’s mission and loving her family is extremely important. But do you know what other extremely important things came from this project?
Love. Pure, straight, non-judgmental, grace filled, awe inspiring, second chancing, kind, gentle, friendly, generous, supportive, and encouraging love. Tough love. Love that goes out on cold, windy nights to paint teal ribbons on windows after a ten-hour shift. Love that says yes to a stranger who comes in and asks permission to put that ribbon there. Love that donates time and space for teal streaks and stands on its feet for 15 hours a day. Love that sits hunched over in chairs and paints teal fingernails. Love that listens at 9:00 p.m. on a Sunday to someone they just met. Love that supports people you don’t know. Love that goes from the grocery store to the cashier’s house just to hug them. Love that takes heat for standing up for the right thing. Love that stops kids from slipping through cracks. Love that gives beyond what is imagined. Love that makes grandiose things happen because it can. Love that cries in the bank and then randomly runs into the salon, hugs the hairdresser, and runs out. Love that can’t drive over railroad tracks. Love that allows a child to speak their mind even when it hurts. Love that goes back for second conversations, because the Spirit led them. Love that absorbs pain. Love that meets in coffee shops and apologizes for dropping balls. Love that cries when no one is looking and holds sharp wounds because they can’t bear to explain how doggone tough love is sometimes. Love that won’t quit. Love that keeps following nudges because it’s the only way to really live.
“The greatest good is what we can do for one another.” The greatest good. The love.
What can I do for you today? Nudge nudge.
Momma Rich's 