Hopeless

07172016 Hopeless 

I was finishing this post from Friday this morning, and messaging my Sisters group back and forth when the request to pray for Baton Rouge came in.  And then it began.  Another shooting, another act of vengeance, another tragedy.  Short bursts of questions came, and in my trying to answer, the birth of yet another post, the sharing of still another idea. 

It all melts together, the living and the listening and the learning and the leaving.  We grow when we change, and when we listen without the intent to answer, we learn ideas we had not before considered.  I have been listening and learning and leaning and loving and leaving a lot in the past year.  One of the more troubling things I’ve been listening to is a small portion of the Atheist opinion.  I’ve seen memes on my Facebook feed, heard people speaking about it on forums, and even read articles based on reason and knowledge.  It intrigues me because I can’t fathom living without the hope of a savior.  It pains me to think about my life without the indwelling spirit, the known peace, and the truth that someone bigger and smarter and more purposeful than I have ever dreamed of being is in control.  Perhaps it’s my view – I don’t focus on the fact that the same God who loved me enough to not let me take my own life, is the same God who brought me into a new life.  The God who brought me safely through my life into a ministry to students and women is the same God who allowed five men to put their hands on me in a tiny trailer bedroom.  The God who gives me the words to say to others is the same God who allowed someone to nearly beat me to death and then be charged in court for a ridiculous offense, because of the letter of the law.  My focus has been more on the fact that this God, who doesn’t fit into any of my boxes, the God who created the sun and the moon and all the rocks and sticks and spiders and flies and snakes is the God who chose to make me.  In making me, God also knew that He was making a human, with flaws and limitations, and then He made a provision for me, to be restored to rightness with Him, through His Son, Jesus.  Some might say that we evolved, that God didn’t create us, we evolved from monkeys or fish or whatever… but I’m not as interested in the how, as the Who.  God made everything, and we are beginning to uncover some of how it happened, but I don’t believe anyone will ever figure it out completely, because there was NO ONE (human) present at the beginning of time.  No notes were taken, and no evidence other than that which has been written for us by people who came before us who heard it from people who came before them.  Just like we’re doing as we write the history books right now. 

So, when I think about God, I think about hope and provision.  I think about Justice and Mercy and Compassion and details being worked out that I could not even consider.  When I think about God, I think about Love and not just the commercial love we buy into on tv and in books; the deep, pure, unmerited, unending love that creates and sustains life, and is present when life ends. 

It is tragedy to me, anything absent of the presence of God.  Because everything else is “figureoutable”, it’s fixable – even the tough stuff.  But being without God is tough.  It’s empty.  It’s lonely.  It’s hard.  Much more hard than being devoted and committed and seeking something other than self. 

So, when the news about Baton Rouge came across my Sisters group as a prayer request this morning, I began to think about what kind of people shoot at others.  In my limited life’s experience, I have known this to happen when people feel threatened, and that it’s either die or die trying. 

What I know is that in recent history, many injustices have been done.  Many people have been hurting because they haven’t been treated kindly, and while those who are actually doing the mistreating may be in the minority, those who are doing the loving, aren’t.  And we aren’t meeting some sort of need that we are either unaware of or unwilling to stretch to.  So, in the injustice, in the hurt and the pain, there is this feeling of us and them, or us versus them.  There is a feeling that “we” don’t understand “their” pain or “they” have pain that “we” don’t care about. 

And maybe there’s truth in that.  Maybe we don’t understand their pain, if we’re being completely honest.  Maybe we can never understand that pain.  Maybe, just maybe there is something about going through the pain and experiencing the pain that prohibits others from entering in.  Maybe the pain is designed for each of us personally, like a gift.  Okay, that sounds like something someone who has never been in pain utters as a trite statement, hoping to ease things.  But as a person who has had pain, it’s how I choose to absorb it.  It’s my lens, and I choose the view.  All the pain, the physical, emotional, mental, the violence and nightmares, the damage – it has all become a gift.  I cringe thinking about it.  I do.  The gift has not been easy for me to bear.  I admit I cried out for God to remove it from me.  I confess that I have not always been grateful for the gift.  However, it was the gift that brought me the brokenness that allows me to see through the cracks into the chasm of others’ pain.  Without my own painful gifts, what would I know?   Without having walked in the valley of the shadow, when would I have had the opportunity to experience darkness and choose light?  Back to them – their pain.  It’s a pain I don’t know.  My skin has always been light olive or cinnamon.  It’s never deepened to the ripe, sweet, black olive.  I’ll always either be beige or tan, never chocolate or mahogany.  As dark as I can get, I’ll never be dark enough to understand judgment based upon my own color. 

When innocent people are judged, harmed, bullied, picked on, beaten, or killed; it hurts me.  I don’t look at their color.  I don’t need to.  If I know that their life was taken from them without just cause, I am grieved.  I even grieve when their life is taken with just cause because there are always innocent family members affected.  Because life is valuable to me.  Everyone’s life.  Even when it may seem justified, taking a life should never be an easy thing. 

I see the issue with the current state of our country as one in need of a Savior.  When we stopped worshiping God and began worshiping ourselves, we lost something very important.  We lost a sense of belonging.  When we don’t belong to God, we don’t belong to each other.  When we stop caring about others, we lose the sense of being cared for.  It grieves me to know that so many people are hurting and we walk around as if we do not care, or do not know.  We are living in a frightening time.  A time when all things are uncertain, and have no promise of tomorrow.  What hope is there for us here?  That is why I am so grateful to have my God to build my hopes on, to trust my minutes to.  This is not my final destination.  This is not my home.  I have hope, I am guaranteed a place in my Father’s House.  “On Christ, the Solid Rock, I stand.  All other ground is sinking sand…”  It’s a hymn that brings me great peace.  I know without a doubt that I am not of this world.  I’m not made for here.  I’m made for God. 

Acts of desperation, helplessness, anger and vengeance are an indication of a person’s limitations to deal.  When a person feels desperate, helpless, frantic, angry, vengeful it is an indication that they need a savior.  Yet, they do not know there is one.  People who carry out vengeance on their own do not have hope that anyone will take up their cause, don’t believe in a justice system, have no experience with being protected.  People who are desperate often don’t see another alternative, they don’t understand that some things take time, some courses – regardless of how ugly – can produce something good from the bad.  People who are frantic and fearful do not know peace; they haven’t had the experience of turning to a power greater than themselves; they don’t know a God who is all-powerful, a God who is just.  They do not believe that in the future, all things could be made right.  They only see right now.  They only see the extreme injustice and feel the sensation of being helpless.  Yes, some may say that they are acting in ignorance, hate, fear, retaliation, violence, and in the way they always have.  Some may say that the people doing this are evil and must be destroyed.  Some will use it as a platform to promote their personal and/or corporate agenda.  They may be correct in their thoughts and words.  Not me.  I choose to look through a lens that isn’t my own, the lens of grace. How tragic is it that these events have happened?  Not as tragic as not having hope. 

I ask you today, if you want to do something, yet are removed from the actual physical locations of these events, please don’t make judgments.  Don’t post Facebook memes, don’t make comments, don’t like pages, pictures or posts.  Don’t accept someone else’s opinion as your own.  Do some investigation as if you were a specialist in the science of people.  Look outside your own life.  I know it’s hard to try to see the plight of a person with mahogany skin when you yourself might be more of an eggshell tone.  I understand it’s difficult to hear these words of hope and God and Christ when you yourself might be an Atheist or Pragmatic thinker.  Perhaps you don’t know how to get outside yourself.  Well, start with just going outside.  Sit in a park, go to a coffee shop, visit the local mall.  Watch people and be on the lookout for something good.  When you see it, make note of it.  Count it as joy.  Share it with a friend, share it on your feed, etch it into your mind, and make a promise to yourself that you will do one thing differently today than you did yesterday.  Do one thing to build a community of hope, rather than a chasm of hate. 

If you don’t know what it’s like to have the hope of heaven, the promise of peace and the love of Jesus in your heart or life, please feel free to message me.  If you’d rather not share it with anyone, but still want to experience grace, I encourage you to talk to Jesus.  It’s like talking to yourself, only you aren’t.  You can do it out loud or in your head.  All you need to do is to acknowledge that Jesus was a real live man who was born and walked the earth (He is and was and did) and that He was crucified as a punishment for all of your sins. (He was)  Thank Him for doing that.  Tell Him you’re sorry for all the things you’ve done wrong.  You can make that a general statement with the proviso that you’d like Him to help you name some things, or you can start listing all the things you’ve done wrong one by one.  It doesn’t need to be an exhaustive list unless you feel compelled to list every single thing.  (Mine would take me as many days as I’ve been alive)  Then thank Him for being the ONLY sacrifice for your sin.  Thank Him for making it possible for you to be forever forgiven, and for preparing a place for you in Heaven.  You can end by saying, “Amen”, which means, “so be it”.  When you’re done with this conversation, you might feel relieved, you might not.  However you feel, I encourage you to find a church in your area and knock on the door of the office.  Ask to speak with the Pastor or Minister and tell them you’ve just accepted Jesus as your Savior.  They’ll help you from there.  Talk to Jesus every chance you get.  It will help you build a relationship with Him.   Pay attention to the little things.  Listen to your breath, look at the birds in flight, smell flowers, hear crickets.  All things come from God, and all are gifts. 

When tough times come, and they will, you won’t be alone.  You will hurt, you will be afraid, you will worry, there will be stress and struggle.  But God has overcome all that.  He works all things out for those who love Him, to be for good.  Even the really bad stuff can be made into something beautiful because God is loving and good.  I want to tell you more, but I know I’ve overwhelmed you.  I hope you heard the nugget in the middle:  desperation comes when there is no hope.  Let’s not be desperate, let’s be hopeful.  Much love and peace are being prayed up and out into the world tonight.  God bless us every one!