The Punch Cards

I had the ultimate mom.  She did it all.  She made my sisters and I the center of her world and gave us every chance to experience all kinds of new things.  So I blame my mom for all the dumb things I’m doing now.  Okay, okay, just kidding.  But maybe not entirely.  I did have the ultimate mom.  I mean that part.  She stayed home with us until my baby sister went to kindergarten.  After that, she worked at a job that allowed her to be home when us girls were home.  And she’s worked there ever since.

I am not her.  But I try to be, and perhaps that’s what’s so exhausting.  She’s the epitome of sainthood. Seriously.  I’ll save the story of my mother for another day.

My journey in motherhood started late in life.  If I had the power to change one thing in the span of my existence, that’s what I would do.  I’d have them younger.  Since I didn’t have that opportunity, I want to raise the best possible citizens I can and let them fly when they’re ready.  However, I also value this time in their lives, when I can do things for them, when they are kids and do kid things.  So this balancing act of motherhood and consultant is perilous.

I have done pretty much everything for the kids since they were born, and I started training them to be responsible by giving them control of their rooms. I wanted them to always be responsible for their rooms and their things.  I have tried making it fun, they lose interest.  I tried having a toy monster that eats their toys (for an unspecified amount of time), but they actually grew to want the toy monster to come and take their toys away, instead of having to clean them up and be responsible for their toys.

This week, I was inspired by a teacher at school, who has given punch cards to students as a reward system.  The punches are “simple” – one punch for each piece of work (home or school) that gets done.  The kids love it!  They are excited to finish their work so they can get a punch.  And so, I thought I’d try it at home.  And lo and behold, my kids were excited!

Of course, they still haven’t completed the task about cleaning their room or putting their toys away!
But my kids clear the table, rinse their dishes, fold the laundry, feed and water the pets, scoop litter, and do all the normal daily stuff they are supposed to do – without me having to nag them!  In fact, Line had her first punch card filled on day two!  That’s twenty punches!

My punch card system looks like this:
Each kid has an index card with their name on it.
Every job they do is worth a punch.  If it’s an easy job – great, they can get a lot of those done and earn their reward more quickly.  If it’s a more difficult job, that’s great because they will get a punch and get the experience!

I sat down with each child and wrote a list of the things they would be willing to do for a punch.  They listed everything.  Brush their teeth, do the dishes, do the laundry, haul trash.
Then I had them tell me what they would like for a prize.  Of course, they want BIG prizes.  Prizes that I’m sure seem reasonable to them.  So, I helped them to understand that big prizes only come from big effort.  We made three prize levels.
    The first level, we call “small”, is for 20 punches.  Those prizes are worth $2 or less.  A candy bar, a chap stick, a TV show choice or an extra snack.
They can basically make 20 punches or more in a day if they do every single thing on their list.
     The next level, we call “medium”, for 100 punches.   Prizes in this tier are worth $5 or less.  They are things like a bag of candy (like fun size candy bars), a lip stick or dollar store toy, being able to choose dinner, or choosing a movie to watch.
     The “large” level prizes are worth $10 or less, and they cost 400 punches.  I figured that if they worked for 20 punches a day, it would take them a month of punches to get here.  These prizes are a toy from a store for the $10, they could have a friend over to play and eat supper, choose a movie, or have a date with mom or dad.  The date with mom or dad is REALLY a big deal!

On day two, when Line earned her first reward, she asked for Mentos.  I offered her the chance to spend her punches on the Mentos or to save them up for a medium or large prize.  Of course, she’s checking to see if I’m serious about the reward, so she says no, she’ll take the Mentos.   She’s started her new punch card today, and she’s already up to five. I also gave her the prize she earned, which she was kind enough to share with her brother.  This time, she says she’s saving up for the medium prize so she can get a bag of candy!

Here’s the beauty of these punches.  It takes mommy energy to punch this card.  So if my kids drain my energy by fighting, disobeying, whining, or doing things they know they are not supposed to, I just don’t have any energy left to punch that card.

Also, if they break a rule, they will have to pay me with their punch.  Won’t that be horrible?  I will feel very bad if I have to collect punches, but since that’s the currency we’re using, I guess that’s what will have to happen.

So this is our current positive rewards system, which I hope will also teach them about spending, saving, and earning.  It’s working a little bit, because every time my son asks me for a gumball, I tell him he has a few more punches to go before I can give him his reward!

What works for you?  What types of currency have you used in your family?  What did you try that absolutely did not work, and why?  I’d love to hear back in the comments section!