I’m taking a break. A break from obligations and time commitments and other such events that limit my ability to give my children my undivided attention, and love. I need to take this break because I can sense my anxiety on the rise. I’m always more on guard this time of the year, because it’s harvest. It’s busy season for Beef and the rest of the wonderful people in Agriculture. It’s dangerous because it’s so busy for them, and they are working long hours with little breaks, and then you add to that the rest of us crazies in the world, and you have too many opportunities for mistakes. On the road, on the equipment, in the field. When cars are in such a hurry to get to the local Wal-Mart, that they are willing to pass a combine with a corn head which can not get over, in a double yellow (no passing zone). A Wal-Mart that is open 24 hours, by the way. No hurry to get there. And if there is some sort of emergency, they sure aren’t identifying themselves with flashing lights and sirens. So I’m on high alert just because of the season. But add to that this new school year my child isn’t happy with the way she is performing in school, which, in turn, makes her not like school. Add to that the fact that my son is not improving much in his own education, and I’m not exactly having tons of time to put into it. My body is doing something funky again, and I’m not comfortable or feeling well… and so we have a recipe for a mommy sized breakdown. But I don’t have time for a breakdown, I don’t have time to be sick. And so, I have decided to take a break. I must leave behind things that I love to do, but am not able to make time for at this season in my life. I must say no to everything that is not growing my children/myself, not promoting us, not supporting us, not of benefit to us.
Next week, we will go as a family to seek a diagnosis for a disorder/syndrome we are very sure our daughter has. This will add more worry, and will push me to do more to protect our precious family time. I will control my emotions as much as I can. I will do the very best I can to hide my feelings from the kids, regardless of the situation or outcome.
In order to do that, to be my best, to do my best, I must take a break.
So, I shut down my Facebook account.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to amysara and TheRFarm with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Momma Rich's 