Serious Injury

This is tied to my Six Fears post…

So when I think of serious injury, I think of paralysis, amputation, brain injury, something that takes away from the quality of life that my family lives right now.  And by family, I mean any one of us who are related at arm’s reach.  Could be my kids, husband, parents, siblings, in-laws, aunts, uncles, or cousins.  I love all of my family, and sometimes, I worry about their safety.  With my own age, comes the aging of the people I love.  Perhaps it is my age which makes me have worries now, when I didn’t before.  Perhaps it’s my knowledge of odds.  Whatever it is that makes me think about risk now, when I used to be a carefree and maybe even a little reckless… this new worry is certainly a burden when I think about the lives we live and the way it can all be jeopardized so quickly.

When I was little, I jumped from the dresser to the bed.  I did this several times before my mom caught me, scolded me, and warned me of the dangers of dumping from the dresser.  Did I heed her warnings?   Of course not.  And that one last time, I missed the bed, bounced off the wall, and landed straight on the screw that turned our vents open.  That hundred year old rusty screw.  Jammed in my shoulder blade.  It was painful, but not as painful as I knew it was going to be to tell my mom.  Thankfully, I had tears and blood, those two things that you would think would make it less likely that I would get in trouble, right?  Not.
After getting me to the doctor and having a tetanus shot, my mom reminded me that there was a reason she didn’t want me jumping off of the furniture, and I had just learned that reason the “hard way”.

I made another mistake in 2nd grade, when I made fun of another student, and God or Karma (whichever way you choose to look at it) helped me learn about taking chances for ignorant reasons.  With a sprained ankle, I learned what having a handicap felt like, and I learned to appreciate safety.
Aside from those (and many more) self inflicted mistake type minimal injuries, I never had to experience a life-altering injury.  And I am so thankful and blessed that God protected me, because I have minimal coordination, and I take risks I often shouldn’t take.  A wiser woman with my “issues” would live a less risky life.  Like, in a bubble, or in a padded room.  But I have always learned “the hard way”.

I’m afraid that because I beat the odds so much, my children or other family members don’t have the same amount of breathing room.  I’m afraid that they will end up paying in ways they can not imagine.  And so I’m always preaching safety.  This – from the kid who rode her bike with no shoes – EVER – who ripped all the toenails off of her right foot because of that habit… this, coming from the teenager who refused to stay in one place, with one group of people.  This, from the adult, who would venture off in big cities, all alone, without telling anyone where she was going.  Driving through drug ‘hoods (without knowing), along hotel row, down highways, even trying to drive from the east coast to the midwest alone.  Not great thinking on my part.

I have known people who have been disabled by way of accident or birth.  I know that there is life after an alteration.  I know that people have a spirit and a will and a drive that will take them wherever they dream to go, regardless of how many legs or arms they have.  They can do many things doctors say their brains are not capable of doing.

But I have also watched the families be torn apart from depression, fatigue, stress.  I have looked on as a family split because there was no clear outline of what a person really wanted, and they had no direction, because there was no living will or anything in print to speak when the person could not.  And that’s probably the biggest fear that I have for myself.  Having my family in turmoil because of something I did or didn’t have prepared, because of not being able to decide what I would have wanted.

I don’t know that I would be able to watch my children suffer a serious injury, to be wired or vented and know that there is nothing I can do in the physical realm to help them.  And my husband… I don’t know.  He is so strong and I know he wouldn’t be happy laying in a bed, but I also know that he has the mental stamina and fortitude to do whatever is necessary to heal and be fine.

There is so much to think about with a serious injury.  What I’ve mentioned above is just the mental/emotional side of it.  There is so much insurance battling, medical jargon learning, doctor meetings, so many nurses, needs… there is just so much to think about when dealing with a serious injury.  It frightens me.
I know I could deal with it though.  Especially if I were the only adult able to make decisions!  I would just deal and get through.  Doesn’t mean there wouldn’t be pain or fear, but I would have to be courageous, and just do it anyway.