The Dash

So, I got nominated somehow to give the speech at our circle this year.  I’ll post pictures of the circle as soon as they become available.  But try to picture it like this… an entire family of people gather around the grave of a soldier who died almost three decades ago.  There are are three generations of families represented.  All come to the local elementary school gymnasium, joining a sea of people from the community.  There are a good two hundred people here.  A third belong to this family.  With no air conditioning, we all stand, as the gentlemen of the local Auxiliary present the colors, and we salute the flag as the national anthem is played.  We all recite the pledge of allegiance and we listen, as the speaker draws us together with memories of war.  We are all grateful.  Our hearts swollen with pride.  We proceed out to the cemetery.  Walking across and up the street, all our families and friends, townspeople and relatives from afar.  Each person takes a carnation and poppy and stands beside the marked grave of a service member who is no longer living.  A dedication is made, of a soldier from our town, to represent all those who have given their lives in service.  The Auxiliary presents arms, and gives a 21 gun salute.  Taps is played, followed by an echo.  All are silent.  The only sound is the singing of birds and the popping of flags in the wind.  A gentle shower passes over, and we all stand, picture perfectly still, flowers in hands.  As the bugler sounds Taps, we decorate the graves of our soldiers.  And then, families gather around the graves of their loved ones, or leave, to gather at someone’s house.  But our family all makes it’s way to the Northwest corner of the cemetery, to circle around the stone that belongs to our family.  The two that made it all possible.  And Aunt Norma, who always gives the speech, begins.  We stand, holding hands, as she tearfully reads a poem about missing someone.  It is deeply personal for her.  She stands alone now.  Her parents, both gone, and her beloved husband, also gone.  Her children have given her many grandchildren, and some are present today.  But none can walk the walk of another.  And so she stands, tall and strong, yet, a little bent by this pain.  And then she gives me the go ahead to begin my speech.  As I begin, I remind everyone that my numbers may not be totally correct, as I do not have the birth year of everyone in our family.  As you will see, our numbers are great.  Through the years, my calendars don’t always transfer correctly, and now, with the blessing of technology, I will soon have everything correct.  Because one day, my children will want to know about the people who share this part of their story.

This is the pole that holds a flag in honor of my grandfather, Max Blodgett.  My family is always finding genius ways to make life easier.  To quickly find “grandpa’s pole”, they put a picture of him in service to our country right on the pole.  Flags are flying proudly in honor of those who gave all.

Cemetery Math
As you stand here today, look around you at the faces of the people who join our circle.  See your family before you and beside you.  Remember that every face you see around this circle is because two people, to very young people fell in love a lot of years ago.  I come here often, at least twice a week.  Sometimes, when I’m having an especially rough week, I visit more.  Sometimes, I just lay on the grass and look up at the sky, and think about what life would be like if they were here right now.  Sometimes, I tell them how amazing it is that their kids and grandkids have all come so far and done so many great things since they left.  Sometimes, I’m just quiet and sit in my car and think about how sad I am that they are no longer here on this earth.  I’m so grateful to be living here, working nearby, that I can feel so comfortable coming here.  And while things are not the same – all those babies have grown up, parents are now grandparents… here at this place, everything is peaceful.  There’s no stress here.
So this week, when I came to water the gerainum and check on uncle Kenny, I looked at the stones.  I mean, I really looked at them.  And I thought about these people who lie here.  not as I remember all these great memories of our time together, but about their entire lives.  The time that’s in that dash right there.  And I thought about how time flies, and how we blink and it’s gone.  We live our lives day by day.  We muddle through some of them, and others, we soar victoriously.  We, as parents of young children, are making new memories and enjoying these times that are so precious.  While we know they will fly by fast, we remember that amount of time that has already passed.  And here’s what I thought about while I was looking at the dashes on Wilma and Max’s stones…
Max lived 63 years, 9 months, and 3 days.  Wilma lived 72 years, 7 months and 15 days.  Together, they had seven living children, The Magnificent Seven, which we lovingly call “The Elders”.  S, N, S, K, K, R, and R and their spouses (14) altogether have 18 children.  From these children and their spouses (36), came 35 children.  Our family from beginning (Max and Wilma) to the latest (G) totals 87.  Add in the brother that didn’t survive, Ronnie Max, and there were 88 roots off the names on that stone.

There are children, grandchildren and great grandchildren representing every decade from birth through almost 70!
S is 67 years, 5 months, 4 days living.
R is 51 years, 3 months, and 21 days living.
J is 44 years, 11 months, and 26 days living.
E is 31 years, 4 months, and 28 days living.
K is 29 years, 7 months, and 6 days living.
S is 16 years, 6 months, and 12 days living.
G is 9 years, 19 days living.
G is 4 months, 5 days living.

S has outlived her father by 3 years, 1 month and 30 days.  N is also very close to having a longer life than her father.

Max married Wilma at the age of 19.  That is the age T will be this year.

At 21 years old, Max was a participant in Overlord, an operation which landed over 150,000 servicemen on the beaches of Normandy  Overlord was originally scheduled for June 5, 1944, exactly 27 years before  Max’s third daughter, S (then unborn) would marry.  June 5th had horrible weather and visibility, and so the operation was postponed until the 6th day of June, the day our country remembers as D-Day.  Max was one of the lucky men to return from Normandy.  9,000 men did not return.  At the time Max landed on Normandy, he was one year older than M is right now.

At the age of 29, Max and Wilma had lost a child, birthed two more, and had moved to work and live close to their family in Iowa.  That is the age K is right now.

When Max was in his 30’s, the family moved to the house on Coppock Road.  Max was a hired hand for Mr. Kennedy.  This is around the age J is right now.

Max and Wilma brought more children into the world, and at the age of 40, Max welcomed the second of his two sons, born after all five of their sisters.  That is the same age I am right now.

During his 50’s, Max worked as a custodian for the Ainsworth School District.  They bought the property on Monroe Street during that time as well.  R is now in his 50’s.

In 1985, Max and Wilma left Monroe Street and moved to Cotter, where they enjoyed small town life.  Max was 62 years old.  That is how hold his daughter S is right now.

Max died 27 years ago.  That is when J was born.

Here’s what the numbers boil down to, and I’m sorry to say, your family tree is full of roots, and nuts! (just kidding)

Max and Wilma lived a simple life.  I am certain of a few things about their life together:
1.  They loved each other passionately, until the day they were separated here on earth.
2.  They loved their family fiercely, with every breath they took, including their last.
3.  They worked hard to provide a lifetime of memories and patriotism for their family that continues through each generation, right up to this minute.
4.  Their love has not only multiplied, quadrupled, but has spread to other families, through many marriages and relationships.
5.  Wilma and Max gave each of us something that can never be taken away.  They provided us with a heritage worth more than any money can buy.
6.  What they thought was an average life has produced some of the most fantastic and amazing people I have ever known.

This weekend, we gathered together, to share time with our extended family.  R and his family, back from Oklahoma, and S back from Missouri.  While we were missing a few, the ones who came enjoyed their time together, and with their cousins, aunts and uncles that they don’t see enough.  While we didn’t get to talk to everyone, the love around our circle was palpable.

It always is.  No matter where we live, close or far, our love will always be the roots that tie us to each other.