Little Cousins Make The Best Friends

Your special day is coming up soon, and I wanted to share this with you.  I hope you find it a loving note from your friend, and cousin.

When we were kids, you were the quiet one.  I know you are probably thinking that you’ve never been quiet, but you do have a softer voice than I do.  So while I had the booming voice, you were able to use your whisper voice, and that’s why I liked to listen to you.  You were always smaller than me, and you seemed to be more timid.  I know now, that you were in no way more timid than me.  I know now how strong you really were.  With all the farm chores, and all the dance practices, and all the academic achievements you put your efforts into, there was no competition as to who was stronger.  I remember your dancing eyes.  You always had a gleam, some sort of mischievous or “ornery” look.  Not a naughty or bad child, just always curious, always investigating, learning, searching, figuring things out.  And sometimes that required a lot of talking and a lot of time visiting with friends.   And parents don’t always understand just how long it takes to tell a story and gather information!

I remember your tiny little feet.  Muddy.  In boots.  Doing chores.  Barefoot in the grass and on the gravel.  Running wherever you went.  Going, going.  Your tiny little feet carried you everywhere. Your tiny feet dancing on stage.  Your tiny feet in chore boots.  Your bare feet on the grass, or shifting gears on the four wheeler.  You taught me how to ride it.  You made it look easy, racing up and down the lane.  When we’d go up from the lane to the grassy area, it always scared me, but you had no fear.  Your tiny feet with blisters from hundreds of practices of your ballet and community theater plays.  Your tiny feet have carried you from those days to these.  In high school, I was jealous of your tiny feet.  And on days I can’t find cute shoes, I still am.

You are the juxtaposition of grit and grace.  You showed cattle in 4-H all of your High School career, and you did it well.  I was so proud of you.  I had no idea it was so hard for you to sell them at the end of fair.  In fact, I didn’t actually know that you really sold them until I was an adult.  Which made it even more sad, because now I know how much work you put into them, and how much you cared for them.

Your giggle when you wrinkle your nose.  I’ve seen it when the Irish comes out and you’re playing a trick on someone.  I’ve seen it when your shenanigans with classmates are successful and go unnoticed by teachers.  Or maybe they were ignored by teachers!  I’ve seen it when we would lay on the top bunk and giggle about who knows what at our sleepovers.  The twinkle in your eye, when you have a funny idea, something that is completely genius and silly, and you know that you might not be able to resist doing it, even though you probably should.  The way you smile when you look at your kids.  The ones you love so much.  And everyone else’s kids.  You love them too.

Your books.  I don’t remember a time that you haven’t been reading something.  High School Government, Biology, Great Literature, College books, and the all important Children’s Books.  You have probably read enough books to fill our old elementary library.  And you probably remember every book you’ve ever read.  You actually made me want to read, and you’ve blessed my kids with a love for reading.  And for that, I am forever grateful.

Your animals.  I’ve never known a day that you haven’t had some sort of animal to care for.  You don’t have that deep desire to nurture every critter that crosses the road, but you have always had a pet, and they have always been spoiled.  I remember your big orange furry dog, Rastus. I still love that name, as much as I loved the dog.  He was so gentle, even though he was big.  Maybe he wasn’t really that big, maybe he just seemed that way because the house, and us kids were so small! I will never forget the story of you and the kids chasing Bandit down to Stewart School.  Even though I never saw it, you telling it on the phone was hilarious!  Harley is spoiled because of you.  It’s your fault.

You are probably the only one I know who has “pretties”.  Of course everyone has pretties, but you’re the only one who still uses that word.  I love that about you.  And I love that you can keep kids away from your pretties without spanking them.  For some reason, they listen to you.  The kids I mean, not the pretties.  You always had pretties, even when we were little.  You had them on your dresser, and your babies and dolls were on the bottom bunk in your room.  And they were always organized, sat in a specific place, and although you loved your babies excessively, you were extremely gentle, because they all still look pristine!

Your dedication to education.  I’m convinced that no one cares more about education than you.  And I don’t mean books and pencils.  Of course, that’s part of it, but I also mean the education of life.  When kids learn from their choices, and when you teach them basic life skills.  When a child in your life has a revelation, you celebrate with them, and it is a contagious joy that I have embraced as well!

You are fiercely determined.  More than just that sturdy, “try hard”, “give it your all” attitude, you are determined to make the most of each day of your life.  You have been through so much.  You have been forced to make decisions that most moms and wives shouldn’t have to make.  You have had to step up as dad for your kids, and you have turned out three of the most wonderful children I know.  Even though things get difficult some times, you are determined to make the best of them.  To you, there is always a lesson to be learned, or taught, a scene to be appreciated, a blessing, hidden in the cloudy day.  You took the hand that life dealt you, and you have turned it to a full house of royalty!  Your will to get your postgraduate education and degree has been strong and focused.  You have given your every effort to ensure that your children have had the opportunities to build their character, to pursue their passions, and to have freedom and trust.  You have made a way, as a parent, alone.

As a parent, you are a stellar example!  I enjoy watching the creative way you plan things, the patient way you gave up your free time to teach dance classes and camps, drive thousands of miles for martial arts competitions, spent uncounted hours watching your children show off their training and talents.  You have always been in the audience, watching them, cheering for them, loving them.  You provided them with more than opportunities to hone a talent though, you have blessed them with a loving extended family, and a confidence of self, that they may one day know where their roots lay.  You have handed them the keys to their future by pursuing their best interests, advocating for them when others may not have searched further, and investing in them as human beings who will do great things for our world!  More than just doing for them, you have taught them to do for themselves.  Your sons can cook, clean, and chore.  They can be tender (if they choose), and tough.  Just like their momma.  Your daughter can kick ass and take names so that those who are bullied can be unafraid, just like she is.  And more than doing for themselves, you have raised them to help those in need.  Each child has a passion for some type of cause, and supports it with full force.  Not every child has a cause to support by their sophomore year in high school.  But yours sure do!

Reading this may sound like over inflation, but I assure you, I could write at least three more pages on how wonderful you are, the difference you have made in my life, and the lives of the children who come into your world.  You are quite simply, the most amazing person I know.

And when life gets me all twisted, I just think about you, and all the wonderful things you’ve done, all by yourself, and I remember that I am related to you, and I might be able to do some of those wonderful things too!  As I read this with tear filled eyes, I want to run in and hug you, to lift you up and give you a break, to hold you and tell you how very proud I am to know you.  Oh how I want to just praise you for all that you’ve done for me and my kids, for your kids and yourself, for your parents and your siblings, for friends of your kids, and friends of their friends, and parents of all those kids, and random kids who just show up at your house because they heard it was fun to hang around there.  How much you bring to our family, to our community!  I just love you so much, I can’t even describe how much!   Not for any one reason, but for all the “little” things that make you – you!

I hope you have the very best birthday ever, because you deserve it!
I love you!