Additions

School was delayed by two hours today due to the snowy, freezing weather.  We stopped by Memaw’s to let you pick out a scarf that she has handcrafted.  Upon our arrival, she told us that we have a new member to our family.  This is our extended family, and our newest little cousin was born two months early, and he is only three pounds.  We will pray for him until he is home safely.  He’s a fighter, and he looked good on the tiny little cell phone picture that Memaw showed me.  He’s the latest on the fourth generation.  Your generation.

There are so many of us now, let’s count… the first are Nanny and Grandpa, (of course, their parents and their parents, and so far back, but for the purpose of “short” family trees, we start with Nanny and Grandpa…  They had eight, but only seven lived.  So, we have the Seven Elders.  Their children are as follows:  The first daughter (Little Nan) had two, the second daughter (Memaw) had four, the third daughter (Nanny), had three, the fourth daughter (NanaBelle) had three), the fifth daughter (Nan) had one, the first son (Uncle Arby) had three, and the baby of the family (the newest Grandad), had two… so let’s see, how many is that?  Eighteen in the third Generation (The Grands), and now, in your generation… this will take some good mathematics!

Little Nan has Five, Memaw has Twelve, Nanny has Eight, NanaBelle has Four, Nan has Two, Uncle Arby has One, and Grandad now has Two, so how many Great Grands is that?  Thirty Four in the Fourth Generation (the Great Grands)!  WOW!  They would be so very proud to know that their circle has grown to be so big!

Okay, so we have the Elders, the Grands, and the Great Grands…
Now, factor in the spouses of each of those who have reached that milestone, which makes 14 Elders, 36 in the Grands for a total of 84 around our family circle!  Since he went to heaven, we have to take out Papa P, and the grands who not have a spouse or significant other, so our total is now 80. That’s a lot of people!!!  And by the time some of the Grands have their “more” kids, and you Great Grands have your kids, our circle will definitely require more space!

I don’t know a lot about my grandparents.  I wish I had been a bit more curious when I was a child, perhaps I would have sat and asked more questions.  And perhaps I will ask their kids now, so I can give you the answers you might have. I don’t know how they met, or what they were like as a young, or old married couple.  I only knew them as my grandparents.  I didn’t know a lot about their upbringing or education or adult lives, but here’s what I know…

They came from families that were strong.. they worked and played together with their brothers and sisters until the day they died.  They made friends and spent time laughing and playing cards and having coffee and enjoying the time they had together.  Great Nan (who is the Matriarch of our family) never owned a cell phone.  She smoked More Cigarettes.  They were long and brown and had a deep, rich tobacco scent.  She had a beanbag ashtray in her car.  She always carried Wrigley’s stick gum.  Usually Juicy Fruit.  It was always in her purse, and she would share it with you if you asked.  She was thin, and had piercing eyes.  And she took no crap from me.  She punished me often.  Sometimes with a look, sometimes with a spank.   Nanny had enough love for all of us, her real grand kids and the kids she “adopted” through her in-home daycare.  Nanny walked a lot of miles.  She loved to walk and be outside, and she was spry until the day God took her home.  Nanny and her sister June (whose grandchildren also called her Nanny), were best of friends.  They did everything together.  They and their husbands.  Uncle John (who is known as “Grandad” to his grand kids) and my Grandpa.

Grandpa was a round, dark haired man who carried a metal lunchbox.  The kind with the buckle hinged locks on the front.  He worked at Perfex and then at the Elementary School.  He had a dry sense of humor and I rarely could tell when he was making a joke or setting me straight.  He was also very quiet.  I didn’t know him to talk much.  He had a great lap for sitting, and neck for hugging.  He smelled like wintergreen, because of the chew he kept in his lower lip.  He was nice, and gentle, but not as “on the floor” with us as Nanny was.  Spending the night with these two felt so special.  Like going somewhere and being treated like a star for the entire time I was there.  Grandpa worked hard his whole life.  He went off and served in WWII, and was awarded a Purple Heart for his service.  It affected him greatly, even changed him.  Nanny waited for her boy, who came back a changed man.  But it didn’t stop them from creating a wonderful family.  I heard he sold his horse to buy her a ring.  That’s love.  And they lived happily ever after.  Until he died.  I know she missed him terribly, and when God took her home, I bet he was waiting for her!  When we buried her, an eagle was sitting close by, and when the service was over, another eagle had joined him, and the two hovered for a bit and then flew off together.  That’s how it is in our family, we always stick together.  I had described it younger, as a bit like the mafia… you can get in, but nobody gets out.  Perhaps that’s not necessarily true.  Perhaps you can get out if you want, but we don’t abandon you.  It takes time, it takes patience, and sometimes, it takes biting your tongue until its about to fall off, but if it matters (which family does), it will always work out.

Sometimes, it works out because Memaw does what Great Nan used to do… she makes the peace by talking to everyone… sometimes it works out because Little Nan comes head on and tells it like it is… Sometimes it works out because we turn the other cheek like Nanny… Sometimes it works out because we cry and hug and make up like Nanabelle… Sometimes it works out because we have a cup of coffee and try to understand each other like Nan… Sometimes it works out because we take time away to think about it like Uncle Arby…. Sometimes it works out because we put our arms around each other, shake our heads, and laugh, like the newest grandad.  Whatever the reason, we all fit together.  They are a part of Great Nan and Grandpa, and we are a part of them, and you are a part of us.  We all have a special place in this family, each their own birthright, and position, which makes the circle complete.  Without each one, there would be a hole… like Papa… there’s a garage chatting, black pleather bar stool sitting, curly headed, round eyed, peripheral vision seeing hole in our circle, and I miss his hugs and advice.  But now, I get to find it in the four of his kids.  I see one more than the others, but they all have a piece of him that I cherish, just like the Elders have pieces of my nanny and grandpa that I cherish.

Whatever comes to our family in the future, know that you belong.  This is your birthright, your bloodline, your inheritance.  Love, Intelligence, Wisdom, Peace, Laughter, Insight, Kindness, Determination, Outspokenness, Drive, Loyalty, Stubbornness, and Courage… it comes from people you don’t know, passed down through generations that you have loved since birth.  It is yours to hand down to your children, like I will hand down to mine.  I can’t wait to share all the memories I have with you.  And one day you will be hanging out with your newest cousin, the one that was born today, and you’ll be laughing, talking about your Nanny and his Grandad, and how they influenced both of your lives.  And maybe, just maybe you’ll both talk about how your parents told you about your Great Nan and your Grandpa, and how they shaped their lives.  And the circle will go unbroken.